The Picture of Dorian Gray; Eeeee Eee Eeee

I turned 21 on Friday. I suppose that means I'm a proper adult now. Though in this country you're technically an adult when you're 18. At least I think so...that's when you can drink and everything. The ability to legally purchase alcohol is apparently more indicative of adulthood that the ability to legally wed and have children is, which seems a bit dumb to me. I don't know any 18-year-olds who are actually proper adults, anyway. Most 18-year-olds are retards. When I was 18 I wore Superdry clothing and weird baggy jeans. I listened to this band called the Starting Line a lot. One time I dyed my hair dark and when I walked into my Russian class Jeremy said "Oh my God!"

But now I am 21. I have decided to make a record of every book I read during this year. I will write what I want to write about the books I want to read instead of writing what I have to write about the books I have to read, and that will be nice.



1. The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde
For the record, this is not the edition I read. I read one of those green ones that costs 2 quid. It had some letters missing. But if Dorian Gray actually looked like that then I really don't see what all the fuss was all about.
This book is very famous. There is nothing I can say about it that hasn't been said before, except that I liked it. It was gothic and quite dramatic and the language was extravagant. Oscar Wilde has an amazing way of bringing characters to life - I heard their voices so clearly. I liked Lord Henry a lot. I liked his views. He made me wish I was a dapper Victorian gentleman. In reality, if I lived a hundred years ago I'd probably be an impoverished teuchter eating raw potatoes or something, but I think I would have liked to have lived in London and prance around high society and care about nothing. It would be lovely.




2. Eeeee Eee Eeee - Tao Lin
This was weird and genius. Weirdly, genius. It's hard to explain the plot, or lack thereof...basically it is about some people in America who are bored. Bears and dolphins talk and cry and murder celebrities. It made me happy, because it was so simple but so brilliant. Tao Lin probably uses about five hundred works altogether in this, mostly 'Pulitzer Prize' and 'motherfucker' and 'killing spree', but it was amazing. Reading it was like being in a dream. My favourite line was:
And think, "I wish I could punch Sean Penn in Sean Penn's face".
It was beautiful nonsense. It was pointless and about pointlessness, and yet it made a lot of sense to me, because there was a point. None of it made sense! It was perfect!
I will give this book to everyone I like.